Naples, Italy. Immediately after the fall of the Soviet Union. A man runs through the cobbled streets, his hands stained with blood. An American drives an ice pick through the eyes of a screaming victim before collapsing and crying. A blond woman in a fur coat takes a long drag on a cigarette and blows a cloud of smoke in the face of her dearest friend, who is also her bitterest enemy. A clock ticks and ticks and ticks before emitting a reverberating sound. They’re out of time. They haven’t had time since the beginning.
This is Goncharov (1973), the “Martin Scorsese movie” that Tumblr users have become obsessed with. The reason you’ve never heard of it is because the movie doesn’t actually exist. Tumblr users just got so deep into the inside joke that they created a compelling poster, lore, and tons of reblogs for this fictional movie. It’s a level of enthusiasm that makes the movie seem like it’s real (although it definitely isn’t).
What is Goncharov (1973)?
It’s just the best mafia movie ever made. Tumblr user inform the fires says that Goncharov (1973) is one of Scorsese’s earlier films, though it never received an official release and was unfortunately snubbed at awards, making it a work of lost media. It was actually based on a little-known trilogy of books, says User in the trap of a sparrowalthough Scorsese updated the setting for contemporary times – OK, sorry, my editor tells me to be serious.
Goncharov (1973) is a fake Scorsese movie that Tumblr users created and created a huge web of inside jokes. It all started with a strange label advertising “The Greatest Mafia Movie Ever Made Martin Scorsese Presents Goncharov” on a pair of fake boots from a Tumblr user. The original post is actually pretty old, but inexplicably started gaining traction over the weekend of November 19. User Beelzeebub created a poster for this non-existent movie that lists some of the main characters and actors — specifically actors Scorsese has worked with in previous movies — and a vague setting. From there, everyone decided to join in on a massive, cinematic online LARP.
So, uh, what is the plot of Goncharov (1973)?
Former nightclub owner Goncharov comes to Naples, Italy after the fall of the Soviet Union, and becomes embroiled in the world of organized crime. He crosses paths with Andrey, a banker. The two have a lot of sexual tension, to the point where many believe all the deaths would be avoided if they just fucked. Meanwhile, his disgruntled wife, Katya, must come to terms with her father’s death when she becomes entangled with a mysterious woman named Sofia.
There’s also a guy named Ice Pick Joe. He kills people with ice picks. That can be a metaphor for psychological problems. There are also many clock motifs. Fans are putting together one google doc to keep up with the ever-growing knowledge of the film.
What do people… with Goncharov (1973)?
People are playing all over Tumblr. Sometimes this means posting about the fake scenes the way they would post about an actual movie or show they are excited about. Other posts are long meta-analyses of scenes that don’t exist and characters that are not real. There are also screenshots photoshopped to look frames of the movie; aesthetic mood boards; fan art of the characters; memes about the movie; and Mailbox reviews. People composed the film score. Someone edited River valley scenes so that the characters refer to the movie.
It’s Tumblr at its peak Tumblr — users creating the same kind of content as they would on a real movie or show, and gushing about it in the same way, only this time the movie is fake and everyone agrees to an inside joke. It’s the “yes, and” of social media platforms, one where the latest meme isn’t just a copy-and-paste format or image, but one that taps into a desire to create and share. That’s the beauty of Tumblr.
Why Do We Care About Goncharov (1973)?
Here’s the thing: Every few months, Tumblr intervenes in a new strange phenomenon and then commits itself so vehemently that the platform becomes completely saturated. No one outside of Tumblr ever really realizes it, because most people wrote Tumblr off as dead after the NSFW ban. But Tumblr has been pretty active all along – especially when it comes to inside jokes. For example, a few months ago, some users decided to pretend that Pirates of the Caribbean had a canonical gay segregationand everyone just rolled into it.
But because of the recent uproar on Twittermany people are reactivating their old Tumblr blogs and starting to pay attention to them Tumblr is wonderfully weird and utter bullshit (I say this with love) meme ecosystem for the first time in years. Tumblr jokes do trickle down to Twitter, TikTok, and Instagram, but usually with a longer buffer period — by which time Tumblr has moved on to the next weird quirk. But with all eyes on Tumblr now, things were sped up this time.
Where can I watch Goncharov (1973)?
Goncharov (1973) is available to stream in your head. JK — the best way to enjoy Goncharov (1973) is to create a Tumblr account, follow some blogs and let the internet do its job. If you feel really inclined, you can try playing along. But don’t worry too much about keeping up with all the ‘lore’. The best way to use Tumblr – or any social media platform for that matter – is to not take things too seriously. Sit back, relax and enjoy the best mafia movie never made.